Do not watch this movie

WARNING!! SPOILERS!!

 

As every “Netflix and Chop” person out there knows, there’s a perfect time to make use of your Netflix subscription, and that’s when you have veggies to chop  You pick a movie, or an episode, and let it quietly run while you chop your vegetables. Or you let your cat pick for you like I did today. Which I’ll probably never do again

Elegantly stepping on the keyboard, Altivo selected “The Best Of Me”.

“A love story?” I wondered aloud, raising my eyebrows at the little feline. “Mew”, he replied, and that was it.

So here’s an unashamed and honest review (full of spoilers) of the story my adorable kitten subjected me to today. It's also full of emojis so it is more entertaining.

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The movie

There’s a teenage guy, Dawson, and a teenage girl, Amanda, who fall in perfect love  

She comes from a rich family, and her father is the I’ll-pay-you-to-stay-away-from-my-daughter kind of father because he can’t have his precious little princess associated with Dawson, who lives with his extremely abusive father and the other guys of the gang of drug-dealers they all want the poor boy to belong to, because they’re really bad guys. Dawson doesn’t want to be a drug-dealer, though, so he runs away and finds shelter in an old man’s garage out in the countryside. The old man let him stay there because he sees Dawson’s potential, so the boy can have some peace and be happy with Amanda

 

 

The culprit

However, his father doesn’t like this solution and goes to beat the old man up while his gang wrecks the old man’s dead wife’s garden Yes, he is such a bad guy. When Dawson sees this, he gets real angry, so he starts a fight with his father and in the commotion his best friend is accidentally killed As a consequence, both Dawson and his father go to jail. Amanda’s love is not shaken but he decides to do the noble thing and leave her, so she’ll go on with her life without waiting for him to get out of prison (IMHO, this wasn’t a bad choice, but what do I know)

Fast forward 20 years, the old man dies and his attorney calls both Dawson and Amanda, because the old man has left them his house, where they have soooo many good memories So they spend a couple of days packing the old man’s stuff, and remembering the good old days, although Amanda is pissed because Dawson took the choice to leave or stay away from her, and she - hold tight - is still in love with him, despite being married, having a teenage son and a daughter who died of leukemia at 2. (My God, what were the screen-players high on?) Is Dawson still in love with her too? What a question, of course he is So they spend Amanda’s last day at the old man’s house together and they don’t do much packing that day However, the sad truth is that Amanda is still married Granted, she’s not happy, as her husband is not so present (he has to work a lot in order to keep that 64-room house’s roof over their head I guess) so she decides to tell him she’s still in love with Dawson and just in time  

Well… sort of. As she tearfully opens her heart to her (unlistening) husband, their son has an accident and his heart is damaged, he needs a transplant The problem is: Where to find a donor? 

Well.

Remember Dawson? He is still at the old man’s place and he learns that his father has taken in another kid to raise as a drug dealer   Who is this kid, you rightly wonder, and what has he got to do with this story? 

Well number 2.

Remember Dawson’s best friend who got accidentally killed? He left a heavily pregnant teenage girlfriend behind, and the kid is his (now 20 year-old) son Of course Dawson (who, we learn, has been sending money to them for years after getting out of prison) can’t allow that and rescues the kid. His dad doesn’t like it and sends his gang to kill Dawson There is the heart for Amanda’s son

Now, I may be a notorious unromantic (according to mainstream romantics, at least) but, seriously, wtf? What girl in her right mind would sigh and think, Oh, how I wish I had a love story like Amanda’s! To have my first and one true love leave me because he’s in jail after his best friend was killed as a consequence of a messy fight he was involved into, to marry someone else just because I want a family, to see my daughter die of leukemia at 2, to have my son almost die but survive thanks to the heart of my one true love who was killed by his outlaw father soon after we had found each other again and I was finally ready to leave my insensitive husband for him

 

There’s only one possible solution to all this, and it is this: Altivo will never be allowed to pick a movie again!