The spit-visit

 Welcome to the Spot Writers! This month’s prompt is to write about a memorable gift. 

This week’s contribution comes from Chiara De Giorgi. Chiara is currently in Berlin, Germany, doing her best to catch up with semi-abandoned writing projects. Her YA novel “Mi chiamo Elisa” (My name is Elisa) was published in Italy by “Le Mezzelane Casa Editrice” in September 2020 and recently in Turkey with the title “Benim adım Elisa”. Her children’s book “Şebnem ve Schrödinger’in Kedisi” (Chiara and Schrödinger’s cat) was published this year in Turkey by Sia Kitap and in Italy with the title: “Chiara e il Gatto di Schrödinger”.

https://hotpot.ai/art-generator

***

The spit-visit 

by Chiara De Giorgi

 

When I was fifteen, a peculiar visitor came to see me.

I don’t usually tell this story because, when I first did, no one believed me. “Such a wild imagination!” they’d say – and I can’t deny I do have a wildly wild imagination. So much so, in fact, that I ended up convincing myself the peculiar visitor did not actually come to see me. I probably dreamed the whole thing, I concluded. In time, I also forgot about the “proof” I had of that encounter. A polished, silver-looking pearl I kept hidden in the tiny drawer of the music box on my nightstand. I must have found it inside some cereal box or something, I thought. 

I, and all the non-believers, were wrong, though. Because, ten years later, Lazlo came back.

 

***

 

I was upset because my parents had grounded me. Unjustly, I thought. (Technically speaking, I was correct: I had only forgotten to shut the garage door, it was the thieves who had relieved us of our bicycles.) 

I was brooding in my bedroom, when a white, blinding light flashed outside my window. A few seconds later, a weird, green creature stepped inside and greeted me.

“A spit-night to you!” it said.

I stared at the strange thing: its shape was human-like (a head and four limbs), but it was tall and very slim, its body was covered in a shimmering suit, and on its head was a huge helmet with a complicated array of buttons and sensors. And what about the greeting? A spit-night? What was that? 

“I SAID”, the creature yelled, “A SPIT-NIGHT…”

“Yes, I heard you the first time”, I said, annoyed. “What do you want? And who are you?”

“I am Lazlo, and I traveled a spit-long way because I need to hide my treasure.”

That was interesting.

“A treasure? What kind of treasure?”

The creature rummaged inside its suit and produced a small, round, silver thing.

“This is my treasure”, it said.

I was curious and didn’t want to keep thinking of the green thing as an “it”.

“Where do you come from? You have a human name…”

“That’s just my spit-name, you can use it, no worries.”

Well, that explained nothing. 

“Tell me about your treasure”, I said.

Lazlo looked at the pearl lovingly, his bulging eyes half hidden behind the screen of the helmet.

“I bought this for my girlfriend Fiona.”

“Then why are you here?”

“I want to marry her, but my family opposes me, so I’m going to hide this jewel until I make them change their mind. When this happens, I’ll come get it, give it to Fiona, and we’ll live happily ever spitting-after! Will you help me?” 

What was I supposed to reply? I wasn’t sure I wanted to find myself in the middle of an alien family feud: the only member I knew kept inappropriately talking about spit, which was not promising. Before I could express my feelings about the matter, a second blinding flash appeared outside the window. 

A few seconds later, another green creature entered my bedroom. 

“There you are!” it shouted. “What were you thinking, running away like that at spit-speed?”

“Go away”, grunted Lazlo, “I’m conferring with my spit-friend here.”

“Hey, wait a minute…” I complained. 

Nobody had ever called me “spit-friend” before, and I was not sure I liked the sound of it.

The new creature ignored me. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Lazlo. Stop this charade right now and come back with me.” 

“This is my older brother Jaco”, Lazlo said to me, “and he wants me to spit-follow him.”

“Why do you keep talking to the spit-thing?” Jaco asked impatiently.

“She’s my spit-friend!” Lazlo whined. 

“She’s a spit-thing!” 

“She’s…”

“SHE’S RIGHT HERE!” I shouted. I couldn’t take that anymore. “And I want you both out of my bedroom right this minute!”

“Why?” they asked in unison, a puzzled look on their faces. 

How could they be so oblivious? I opened my mouth to reply but, before I could utter a single word, a third flashing light announced the arrival of another green creature.

“Lazlo!” the thing croaked entering my bedroom. “Stop being an irresponsible spit-fool and come back home!”

“This is my spit-mother”, explained Lazlo, “and I don’t want to go back with her.”

“Why does he talk to the spit-thing?” Lazlo’s mother asked Jaco.

“STOP CALLING ME THAT!” I screamed. Finally, they were all silent. “This is my bedroom! Why are you here? I demand to know why you think it is okay for you to barge uninvited into a young lady’s bedroom!”

“What’s a young lady?” asked Jaco.

“Er…” Lazlo replied, looking around. I saw him taking in my Care Bears bedspread, my Cookie Monster poster, my unicorn-shaped lamplight, and so on.

“I am going to renovate soon”, I announced haughtily. “And why do you keep talking about spit, of all things, by the way? It’s disgusting!”

“Isn’t spit the unit of measurement on this planet?”

“It most certainly is not!” I said, outraged.

“Oh, no, not again…” complained Jaco.

“The built-in translator in our helmets must be lagging, sorry”, explained Lazlo.

“All this is irrelevant, spit-thing”, said the mother. “Lazlo, stop this nonsense and come back home.”

“I don’t want to! I want to marry Fiona!”

“Fiona is out of the question and you know it. And you shouldn’t have come to this spit-planet anyway.” 

Lazlo stomped his feet and screamed for a minute, while mother and brother just looked at him and waited for the tantrum to be over. 

“Alright”, he said at last, after a long sigh. “Let me say goodbye to my new spit-friend.”

Mother and brother Jaco left without a word. Lazlo put the small pearl in my hand.

“Please keep this for me. I’ll be back. I know I will.”

I didn’t have time to reply, he was gone in a blitz.

 

One night of ten years later, Lazlo was back.

A flashing light outside my window, and there he was, standing in front of me. He looked around and chuckled.

“You haven’t renovated, after all.”

 “I haven’t.” I laughed. “Are you finally going to marry Fiona?”

“I am!” he said. He looked and sounded extremely happy. “Do you still have my jewel?”

“I do.”

I opened the music box and took the pearl. I offered it to him on my opened palm. He smiled and picked it.

“Is that a very special thing?” I asked.

“It is! This is a spit-spat that I found on a spit-sprook and spit-spatarred myself!”

“Er… I think… your in-built translator must be lagging again. But it doesn’t matter. I understand it is a very special thing indeed and I wish you and Fiona a happy spit-life.”

He smiled again. 

“I brought you a spit-something”, he said. He offered me a flower-looking thing. “This is a spit-sprinkard that I spit-sparkred on a spit-sprunfeld and…”

“Thank you”, I said. “It’s beautiful.”

He smiled again. 

“Go!” I said. “Go to Fiona, what are you waiting for?”

He laughed happily and I did the same.

“I’ll go!” he said at last. “Thank you, my spit-friend. You are the best spit-friend I could ask for.”

A moment later, he was gone.

 

I know you won’t believe me, but the spit-sprinkard is still with me. It’s beautiful and it’s mine.

 

*****

The Spot Writers – Our members:

Val Muller: http://www.valmuller.com/blog/

Catherine A. MacKenzie: https://writingwicket.wordpress.com/wicker-chitter/

Phil Yeats: https://alankemisterauthor.wordpress.com/

Chiara De Giorgi: https://chiaradegiorgi.blogspot.com/